Silent Cry Read online

  Here are the words I would use to describe my dear friend Dorothy Newton: courageous, strong, beautiful, and Christ-honoring. She bravely tells her story of abuse to encourage others that even in the midst of heartbreak and pain, God is faithful. You can survive brokenness, and the key is knowing the One who was broken and bruised for all mankind—Jesus.

  Joni Lamb, vice president and cofounder of Daystar Television Network

  We applaud Dorothy for bearing her soul in this book. It is a moving and emotional account of a difficult journey and her unyielding devotion to God and family.

  Kelvin and Lynn Martin, former wide receiver for the Dallas Cowboys

  We’ve been friends with Dorothy Newton for years and have long admired her strength and courage. She’s a devoted mother who after her divorce brought that family together and held them so tightly that nothing could have ever torn them apart. It was incredibly touching and inspiring to watch. She is also one of the most spiritual people we’ve ever met, something she leaned on for strength during the trials of her marriage. She has a lifetime of wisdom to impart, and the simple, straightforward way she does so here makes every page an inspiration. It’s a book filled with love, perseverance, and proof that in America, second acts aren’t only for men; women have some pretty remarkable ones as well.

  Emmitt Smith, NFL Hall of Famer

  Pat Smith, founder/CEO of Treasure You

  It is a privilege to call Dorothy Newton friend. Her life is an inspiring example of a courageous woman of God who values faith, family, and friends as our ultimate early treasures. She shares her past and present experiences with others in the hope that they too can celebrate life in abundance now and forever.

  Pat and Cheri Summerall, now-deceased legendary television sportscaster

  My friend Dorothy Newton will become your friend as she graciously takes you into her world—into the celebrity lifestyle and the shadowy recesses where abuse dominated and destroyed her dream world. She shares mistakes and victories. She contrasts the voice of abuse, which shouts fear and shame, with the sweet song of freedom and healing. In Silent Cry, you will be encouraged to not let your pain define you or your future. I have no doubt that getting to know Dorothy Newton will enrich and encourage you.

  Debbie Morris, executive pastor, Pink (Gateway Women) at

  Gateway Church and author of The Blessed Woman

  Though the book’s title reads Silent Cry, this is a story about triumph and grace—the triumph of Dorothy, of her sons Tré and King, and ultimately of Nate Newton as well. Both the good and the bad we read in this story occur beneath the covering of God’s grace, which is the bedrock of Dorothy’s strength. In fact, this book is more than a story; it is a witness and full evidence of human capability. Every man should read this biography.”

  Monte Ford, former senior vice president at American Airlines

  Ingrid Ford, owner of Peace of Life Massage

  Powerful. Straightforward. Honest. Brave. These are words I use to describe Dorothy Newton. When I first met her, I knew immediately there was a spiritual strength about her that was uncommon. However, it wasn’t until she dared to share the story of Silent Cry with me that I fully understood how her ability to overcome personal pain had been shaped by her passion for Jesus. Dorothy chose in the midst of isolation and relational deprivation to turn her tears into floods of victory. She shares the truth of her personal story in a way that reveals hope for anyone dealing with difficult circumstances, unhealthy relationships, or even devastating loss. It is rare to find such honesty and hope in the same place. If you’ve ever wondered how you are going to make it, this book is for you.

  Jan Greenwood, pastor, Pink (Gateway Women) at

  Gateway Church and author of Women at War

  Beauty, honesty, and guts describe this overcomer named Dorothy Newton. Because of Dorothy’s courage to tell her story, all of us will better understand the horrible reality of domestic violence in our own backyard. We’ll discover that all of us are responsible to learn about it, fight it, and give others a way out when they need it. Most of all, this true story will help victims know without a doubt that with God, they can escape domestic abuse and rise above it.

  Lisa Rose, founder and board president of The Gatehouse,

  a ministry for women and children in crisis

  Truth brings liberty to the captive, gives beauty for ashes, great joy in place of grieving, and high praise to God instead of despair. Dorothy is a living testimony of this. She shares this story courageously so that the reader can experience God in their own set of circumstances. She found her tears and her freedom. Come, dear reader, and find yours too.

  Rebecca Wilson, LCSW, LMFT, pastor, Marriage and

  Family Ministries at Gateway Church

  ZONDERVAN

  Silent Cry

  Copyright © 2015 by Dorothy J. Newton

  Silent Cry is written in collaboration with Wendy K. Walters.

  Requests for information should be addressed to:

  Zondervan, 3900 Sparks Dr. SE, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546

  ePub Edition © August 2015: ISBN 978-0-310-34548-0

  All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

  Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

  Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

  Scripture quotations marked NCV are taken from the Holy Bible, New Century Version®. Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

  Any Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Zondervan, nor does Zondervan vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means — electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other — except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

  Cover design: Curt Diepenhorst

  Cover photography: Dan Davis

  Interior design: Kait Lamphere

  First Printing July 2015

  To all who have suffered betrayal and abuse.

  To all who need deliverance and freedom.

  To all who hope . . .

  Contents

  Foreword by Sheila Walsh

  Preface

  Acknowledgments

  Part 1: Childhood

  1. The Storm

  2. Keeby’s Kids

  3. Evil Drink

  4. Freedom

  5. Back to Buras

  Part 2: College and Young Adulthood

  6. College

  7. Home away from Home<
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  8. Gunshot and Grace

  9. Nothing Is Wasted

  10. New Beginnings

  Part 3: Love and Warning Signs

  11. Finding Love

  12. Nate Newton’s Girl

  13. Love Is a Wonderful Thing

  14. Shattered Dreams

  15. Ultimatum

  16. Ups and Downs

  17. Settling

  Part 4: A Troubled Marriage

  18. I Do . . .

  19. The Good Life

  20. A New Day

  21. The Last Straw

  22. Humiliation

  23. My Shield

  24. Divorce

  Part 5: Moving On

  25. Working Things Out

  26. Standing Strong

  27. Familiar Tune

  28. Give and Receive

  29. Perfect Love

  30. New

  31. WILD

  Afterword

  Meet Nate Newton

  Meet Tré and King Newton

  Appendix 1: Why Won’t She Leave?

  Appendix 2: How Do I Help Her?

  Appendix 3: I Am Being Abused. What Should I Do?

  Appendix 4: Why Do Abusers Abuse?

  I have been crucified with Christ;

  it is no longer I who live,

  but Christ lives in me;

  and the life which I now live in the flesh

  I live by faith in the Son of God,

  who loved me

  and gave Himself for me.

  Galatians 2:20 NKJV

  Foreword

  You can tell a lot about someone by looking into his or her eyes. Some eyes sparkle with life, some seem far away and distracted, while others are deep pools of sadness. Eyes can tell a story that the heart would find difficult to put into words.

  I remember the first time I looked into Dorothy’s eyes. She was a guest at a Christmas production I was hosting, and I was introduced to her at the meet and greet at the end of the evening. Her elegant beauty and lovely smile were what struck me initially — but it was the depth of what I saw in her eyes that stayed with me. As I drove home that night, I prayed for her. I knew nothing of her story, but I saw something I recognized. I saw the familiar weight of one who has walked a long, hard road and gathered the rare fruit of profound empathy that only such a path can produce. Grace rested in her eyes.

  When this manuscript came across my desk, I was excited to read her story. It’s a hard story to read. Dorothy’s life has been marked by pain and abuse since she was a child. If that sounds warning bells deep inside you, don’t pull back; there is so much more here that you need to know.

  She is honest and transparent about a time when it was almost impossible for a woman to be heard and taken seriously, particularly if she was married to a powerful man. We live in a culture that worships and elevates our sports stars but doesn’t love them enough to help them when they are clearly in trouble. When we attempt to contain and manage the rage that rests inside some of our heroes, we do them a disservice, and we abandon those who need us most — their wives and children. I pray that Dorothy’s courage in telling her story will be a catalyst for change.

  More than anything, this is a story of redemption and hope. No matter how deep the pit you find yourself in might be, the love of God is deeper still. No matter how many poor choices you might have made, His mercies are new every morning.

  If you are a woman living in a desperate situation, you will find help in these pages. You are not alone. If you know of someone who is being abused, this book will give you very practical steps to know how to help. If you are the abuser, there is hope and healing for you as well. It’s never too late to throw yourself on the grace and mercy of God and begin the slow but sure process of learning to live differently.

  I highly recommend this book. It’s heartbreaking to think that Dorothy had to endure so much for so long, and yet what shines through her story is a spiritual truth of which I am convinced: It’s amazing what God can do with a broken life if you give Him all the pieces.

  Sheila Walsh

  Preface

  In an online article published December 4, 2012, at Slate.com, journalist Justin Peters candidly revealed some amazing statistics about the NFL teams active in the 2012 season. Twenty-one of the thirty-two football teams had at least one player with a domestic violence or sexual assault charge on his record. Further sources at the time cited evidence that professional athletes, as a whole, were not being punished as harshly as the general public — by almost half. News reports in 2014 showed that abuse by members of the NFL was getting more coverage, and courts seemed to be taking the issue more seriously. For that, I am grateful.

  My story began before anything on the subject popped up on Google. I lived in a secret world where abuse by my former husband, a professional football player, left me feeling helpless and isolated. I survived without benefit from any source of relief and, in many instances, without protection. Allow me to say that my story is not meant to attack anyone’s character, but rather to record one woman’s dependencies on a sovereign God who sees, knows, and understands the depths of despair. It is also the story of a God who desires to deliver and walk alongside each of us to a place of wholeness and freedom.

  I’ve tried to be as honest as is humanly possible about Nate, my circumstances, and myself. I sincerely believe the truth does indeed set us free. I’ve worked to be transparent about the nature of abuse patterns and the reality that their ugly legacies pass from one generation to the next. I got the false impression in my childhood that abuse and violence are to be considered normal in a family atmosphere. And I’ve tried to understand how witnessing such events as a young girl opened the door for my relationship with Nate.

  The general purpose of gathering years of material to write Silent Cry was twofold. First, I am endeavoring to encourage those who stand in the shadow of prominent figures in our American culture to take the risk of reaching out for help. Second, I want to bring hope, healing, and wholeness to those who are suffering in silence. I believe there is a way out, and God will help you find it. He can hear your silent cry.

  Dorothy J. Newton

  Acknowledgments

  To my mother, Ethel (Keeby) —

  You are a strong woman of God and an evangelist, the oldest of thirteen children, a mother, a friend, and a sister. You worked hard your entire life and never gave up, even with limitations in education. You taught me perseverance even in the midst of the storm. I am proud that you finally received your high school diploma in 2008.

  To my siblings, Gary, Muriel, Helaine, John, and Leslie —

  I ask for your understanding and forgiveness. By choosing to privately absorb all the hurt and pain, I denied you the opportunity to lift me up and feel the satisfaction of being there for me as you often were gracious enough to let me be there for you. After all, we are blessed to be a blessing. You were only allowed to see the part of me I wanted you to see. I thought I was protecting you by not burdening you with problems. I was so wrong. In retrospect, your collective strengths surely would have changed my course and perhaps yours too — bringing us even closer than we already are. Please know how much I love each of you. I give you my word that I promise to depend on you for all the times that lie ahead — both good and bad. It’s never too late to lead an authentic and full life.

  To my brother, Mike —

  Though we didn’t grow up together, we spent time talking on the phone in college. I was privileged to attend a couple of your pro games and honored to be there when you married your beautiful wife, Deidre. When Dad was diagnosed with cancer, you took excellent care of him
in your home, and I enjoyed visiting with you when I came to see him. This was when I really got to know you, and it felt as if I had known you my whole life. You are an amazing and intelligent man who always prioritized God first, then family, and then being a professional athlete. Pro football was always what you did, not who you were — and I admire this. I do not see you as a stepbrother; you are my brother, and I love you.

  In memory of —

  My stepfather: Lester Hymes

  February 28, 1943 – May 10, 1983

  My stepsister: Mary Hymes

  August 19, 1960 – July 30, 1983

  My father: Horris Lee Johnson

  June 25, 1940 – April 10, 2010

  With gratitude to all who contributed in important ways to the journey that culminated in Silent Cry —

  I am forever grateful to Marcus and Joni Lamb at Daystar Television. Participating in “Joni Table Talk” has contributed to my spiritual growth and has helped me greatly to keep life in perspective. Joni, you are a treasure as a friend!

  Life doesn’t happen without prayer, and I owe deep and abiding gratitude to my prayer partner and friend Freda Dents.

  I would be remiss if I failed to offer heartfelt thanks to Wendy K. Walters, who so graciously came alongside me and helped me put my words on paper and bring my story to life. For her colabor in love, I will always be grateful.

  Additional thanks goes to my fellow author Melanie Stiles for believing in my cause, upholding me in prayer, and supporting my endeavors, and to Brenda Claborn, a tireless advocate who believed from the beginning that my story needed to be told and who pointed me to John Sloan at Zondervan to make this publication possible.